Lies my T.V. told me


I’ve begun to question the very foundation of my childhood, and by this I of course mean Disney.  Here are some Disney propagated ideas that lack credibility  more and more the older I get.

“A dream is a wish your heart makes” –  Most of my dreams are just really bizarre, and if those are the kind of wishes my heart is making it’s no wonder I never got the pony I wished for on my birthday cakes, that wish magic was too busy counteracting all the stupid wishes my heart was making while I was fast asleep.

“Give a little whistle!”- Really?  What good is a whistle going to do me when I’m about to get into trouble.  Is a sharply dressed cricket really going to come running up and stop me from making a stupid choice?  I think not!  Chances are  I’m just going to look even more ridiculous for whistling inanely when I should be making some sort of important decision.

"Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down."- Not true, a spoonful of sugar merely turns the medicine into a gritty, sticky mess that is then even harder to swallow. It's sort of like eating sand while trying to take medicine.

The idea that my toys are living, breathing, feelingm animate objects-I was actually glad to discover that this wasn't true, it alleviated a lot of guilt.

"Don't believe me? Ask the dishes! They can sing, they can dance."-I spent ages asking dishes all kinds of things, and begging them to sing and/or dance, they never did and I've been informed that it doesn't matter whether you're in France or not the dishes don't sing and the flatware does not entertain (unless you consider that thing where someone sticks a spoon to their nose entertaining,  in which case I guess they do).

"You can do what the birdies can, At least it's worth a try, You can fly! You can fly!"- It is not worth a try.  How advisable is it really to go around attempting to fly off of, or into, or out of things, just because you're in a particularly buoyant mood?  Yeah, that's what I thought.

Well, there you have it.  I have now become a horrible monster who dissects Disney.  Maybe tomorrow I'll talk about the fact that there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, or point out that bunnies don't naturally come in those bright Easter colors. 

Revelations from a cold medicine induced fog

Leave a comment

Tomorrow I will be finished with my first year of school, then perhaps I will visit this sight more regularly (perhaps).  I just happen to be one of those very fortunate people who not only gets to take finals, but also catches a terrible cold right before them and then spends finals week getting progressively sicker each day.  So, in these last hectic moments before school ends I’ve decided to present you with what I do best in a hurry, that’s right: a list.

6 things that happen when I’m sick.

1. Really stupid things make me cry. Really stupid, it could be anything from a hallmark commercial to the fact that I walked all the way into another room without bringing the thing I needed.

2. I laugh at things that aren’t really funny, for an awkwardly long time, (clearly I’m just an emotional basket case when in the throes of illness.)

3. I become increasingly less intelligent as time goes on. (Which is really a problem when I’m studying for finals.)

4. Fine motor skills, like typing and opening those little foil seals on the medicine go out the window.

5. I become less focused and increasingly more distracted, Facebook becomes even more the bane of my existence than it was before.

6. I start making their/there/they’re mistakes, which is pretty troubling to someone as annoyingly particular about grammar and spelling as myself. (I have been referred to as grammar nazi, and grammar police but I prefer grammar ninja.)

That’s it, I was considering ten but I got lazy (which probably would have been number 7) and stopped at 6.  So, you may now return to your regularly schedule life, stay tuned for my other riveting life events and reflections.

A memory in the making

1 Comment

I remember September 11th 2001, I was eight, two weeks away from being nine.  I remember wandering into the living room, the t.v. was on, the same images on every single channel.  I didn’t understand the full gravity of the situation, but I knew that things had changed.  I remember standing in my front yard talking to my neighbor, about war.  I, trying to be optimistic, her, going the other way.  Neither of us entirely right in our youthful views.  I remember a sense of unity, of seeing prayer in places it hadn’t appeared before.  I remember increased security measures and new fears.

One day I’ll be able to say, that I remember the night Osama Bin Laden was announced dead.  That I remember laying on my parent’s bed studying for a quiz while waiting for the president to speak.  I’ll remember how I felt; freshly emotional as I was reminded of the events of nearly ten years before, reminded that in the end justice wins, and the wicked perish.  I’ll remember wanting to listen to the president for one of the first times, the brevity of what he had to say, and being old enough to truly understand what was going on.  Mostly I’ll remember the feeling of releasing a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, the way people once again, at least for a moment came together, and the  knowledge that this was another example of history in the making.  Both my history, and that of my country.