I’ve begun to question the very foundation of my childhood, and by this I of course mean Disney.  Here are some Disney propagated ideas that lack credibility  more and more the older I get.

“A dream is a wish your heart makes” –  Most of my dreams are just really bizarre, and if those are the kind of wishes my heart is making it’s no wonder I never got the pony I wished for on my birthday cakes, that wish magic was too busy counteracting all the stupid wishes my heart was making while I was fast asleep.

“Give a little whistle!”- Really?  What good is a whistle going to do me when I’m about to get into trouble.  Is a sharply dressed cricket really going to come running up and stop me from making a stupid choice?  I think not!  Chances are  I’m just going to look even more ridiculous for whistling inanely when I should be making some sort of important decision.

"Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down."- Not true, a spoonful of sugar merely turns the medicine into a gritty, sticky mess that is then even harder to swallow. It's sort of like eating sand while trying to take medicine.

The idea that my toys are living, breathing, feelingm animate objects-I was actually glad to discover that this wasn't true, it alleviated a lot of guilt.

"Don't believe me? Ask the dishes! They can sing, they can dance."-I spent ages asking dishes all kinds of things, and begging them to sing and/or dance, they never did and I've been informed that it doesn't matter whether you're in France or not the dishes don't sing and the flatware does not entertain (unless you consider that thing where someone sticks a spoon to their nose entertaining,  in which case I guess they do).

"You can do what the birdies can, At least it's worth a try, You can fly! You can fly!"- It is not worth a try.  How advisable is it really to go around attempting to fly off of, or into, or out of things, just because you're in a particularly buoyant mood?  Yeah, that's what I thought.

Well, there you have it.  I have now become a horrible monster who dissects Disney.  Maybe tomorrow I'll talk about the fact that there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, or point out that bunnies don't naturally come in those bright Easter colors.