Reasons I should not be a fiction writer:

  1. I have never read Moby Dick.
  2. I do not really desire to read Moby Dick.
  3. I am fond of plot.
  4. Sometimes when I see a fish in a story I think it is really just a fish and not symbolic of the fisherman’s need for approval and acceptance, which stems from his father’s rejection of said fisherman’s high school choice to play the cello instead of football.
  5. I like happy endings.  You know where the characters actually end up happy.
  6. I also appreciate endings where all the answers are provided ( I think this is why I liked Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; they gave you the answer before the end of the first book).
  7. I sometimes find revision to be about as pleasant as poking my eyes out with a fork. (This is a lie, it should probably say always, or at the very least often.)
  8. I am clearly attached to bulleted lists, this is generally not an acceptable form in novels and/or short stories.
  9. I’m not angsty enough.
  10. Even my blog writing is somewhat spotty.

Reasons why the above reasons are irrelevant:

  1. Whenever I’m wondering if I should continue with writing I feel like writing about it will bring resolution.
  2. No one is looking to hire a grammar ninja (which was my fallback).
  3. I’m not interested enough in/good enough at anything else.
  4. I have favorite words like some people have favorite colors. (Right now they are perspicacious and non-sequitur.)
  5. Changing your major is really a pain, and I feel like I’ve already received so much flack for being an English major that I’d hate to see it go to waste.