1. Using semicolons
 This is truly one of my greatest foibles. Of all the things I do poorly and all the things that cause me severe amounts of angst, this is at the top. I have had teachers tell me repeatedly how to use these mysterious comma period combinations and I when I read the comments about using semicolons on my papers I feel like I understand.  However when I sit down to actually write, it seems that any newly discovered (or rediscovered) semicolon knowledge goes out the window and I just; start haphazardly; throwing them in; wherever I feel like;;. I also neglect to put them in the places they belong. At this point I’ve decided to give them up all together and spend large amounts of time working around the dreaded semicolon. However, if someone wanted to buy me this poster I might be willing to give my least favorite punctation* another try.

2. Waving
This may seem like something really simple but it’s something that consistently eludes my grasp. People have tried to help me wave; teaching my their preferred form of waving or attempting to shape my hand into an acceptable waving posture, but they’ve all given up on me and considered me a lost cause. I’ve tried all sorts of different forms of waving: cute little waves right by my face, the princess wave, the one where you just fold your fingers into the palm of your hand repeatedly, that thing where your  fingers sort of ripple.  It would seem that no matter what I do I end up looking like I’m still trying to learn basic motor skills. In fact, the best way to really describe how I wave is to show you a pretty good likeness, starting around the 25 second mark (although I probably dance like this too):

3. Not Getting Lost
My father and I share a similar sense of direction, or in our case a complete lack thereof.  It’s not just getting lost in a new city or neighborhood, it’s everywhere, even places I’ve been before.  I have a GPS on my phone and a strong attachment to Mapquest, because otherwise I’d miss everything.  I’ve gotten lost coming out of elevators if I got into one on the wrong side of the hall. Because of this I try to just let other people go first in order to avoid looking stupid. For instance, when I go to the mall (the same mall I’ve been going to for as long as I can remember)  and I step out of a shop, I am rendered unable to figure out which direction I was coming from when I first entered that particular store. If I’m with someone I find some excuse to step back and let them lead.  If I’m alone I usually stand in the doorway indecisively  for a moment and then take off in whatever direction looks least wrong. I then have to  walk until: a) I’m sure that I haven’t already been that way, or b) I pass some sort of landmark (store, sign, bench) that I know for a fact I walked by already, and then turn around and hope that nobody notices that I just got lost, inside the mall.

4. Crossing My Eyes
This was truly one of the great disappointments of my youth. I was sure that this was a necessary skill for my chosen career: super famous and hilariously funny sitcom/variety show star.  I knew that I could never be the next Carol Burnett or Lucille Ball as long as my eyes stubbornly refused to meet in the middle. But alas, I was never able to make it happen. I once videoed myself to see if I was even coming close and it turns out that I get really close and it looks like it’s almost going to happen and then my eyes suddenly bounce back and stare in the correct direction. So, I had to let go of my dream because I just could not overcome the thing standing in my way (my not being very funny clearly had nothing to do with it). As a side note, my littlest sister is six and she can cross her eyes with little to no warm up.**

5. Cutting Fruit/Vegetables***
This one may seem like a copout to avoid helping with dinner prep, but I really am a menace to myself and society when wielding a cooking knife. My mother refuses to watch me cut things for fear that she’ll witness the moment I lose a finger instead of just hearing about it later. It’s not that I can’t cut the vegetables I just look really scary while doing it, and am usually assigned a different job in an attempt to avert disaster. When I try to cut an apple I end up completely destroying it to get the core out and I have to cut it into way more pieces than is strictly necessary in order to eliminate all of the seeds and other mostly inedible parts. My siblings now request their fruit whole because they don’t like waiting so long and then receiving only like 3/4 of an apple.

That’s it, this is a pretty comprehensive list of the things I have trouble with. Aside from the items mentioned I’m essentially perfect. 😉

*The fact that I have different levels of affections for different types of punctation clearly establishes my nerd status.

**As soon as I asserted that she didn’t have any trouble crossing her eyes and asked her to do it for a picture she suddenly couldn’t, which is why she’s holding her finger up to get started.

***I’ll admit I was having a hard time coming up with one more thing that might be somewhat interesting so if you skimmed that last one. I understand.