Reason #1 – The Dreaded Collage: I found out yesterday that I had something due in my Theatre class tomorrow, then I found out that this thing was a collage. I sort of thought I had avoided having to do collages by being home schooled all through elementary and middle school, but alas it would appear not.  I am absolutely not artistic, I call it a success when I manage to draw a semi-straight line. But I managed to collect some items and glue them together, fortunately it’s Theatre where there are apparently no wrong answers so she’ll have to affirm my collage (which sort of looks like my littlest sister made it.) Also, I am a hot glue gun disaster.

Reason #2 – Spring = The kinds of wind that evicted Dorothy from Kansas: I live in an especially windy place, that also happens to be incredibly dusty. Dust gets everywhere: in my eyes, in my teeth, in my hair. I also have rotten wardrobe/wind timing: on the windiest day of the year I will wear a skirt and spend extra time on my hair, it is almost inevitable.

Reason #3 – The tiny little desks are finally getting to me: This one is pretty self-explanatory, but because I’m a fan of verbosity I’m gonna tell you about it anyway.  At school some of my classes have these lovely chairs with built in desks, whoever designed them, though, was apparently designing desks for a new breed of genius third grade college students. When I take my computer I end up spending half the time typing notes and half the time balancing my computer which only partly fits on the desk.

Reason # 4 -I’m not sure how much longer I can take the Save the Children conversations: There’s nothing wrong with Save the Children, or the people who work for them, it’s just that I don’t have any money to donate right now, so I don’t really want to talk to them anymore. However, they stand in the middle of the plazas at school and they start yelling hello from like 50 feet away, and it seems  they have been trained in the art of singling out that one person who will talk to them and making eye contact even if I, I mean that one person, is resolutely staring at the ground.  Plus there’s something about refusing to talk to these fundraisers that makes me feel like a wretched human being. For example:

How the Conversation Actually Goes:

RED VESTED SAVE THE CHILDREN FUNDRAISER: Hi take a second for Save the Children?

ME: I actually can’t right now,

RED: It will really just take a second.

ME: I’m on my way somewhere

RED: Alright then have a good day.

How I Think the Conversation Goes

RED: Hi, take a few moments for Save the Children and to prove you have a soul?

ME: Um, well uh. I can’t right now.

RED: Wow, what could be more important than saving children? Honestly!

ME: I’m on my way to class.

RED: Fine, you’re probably going to kick a few puppies on your way.
This alternate dialogue is the reason I’ve talked to these red-vested individuals multiple times and now cower in fear when I see them coming.

Reason #5 I so miss sleep: This is the largest reason that I’m ready to be done with school for a little while. The last couple of weeks have been especially difficult coming back from spring break and having a sinus infection. I have been falling asleep in everything, I spend vast majorities of time coming up with new and better ways to stay awake.

Inappropriate places I have nearly fallen asleep in the past two weeks:

  • The bus (I’m afraid that someone will steal my wallet, or that I’ll snore, or drool and video will end up on the internet)
  • Class, pretty much every class I’m currently taking.
  • Work
  • During the middle of a play (this has happened twice, which just goes to show not only how often I go to see performances but also how incredibly tired I am that I’m nearly falling asleep during theater. It feels like some sort of unforgivable sin that I can never publicly admit.)

That’s it, I’m sure there are other reasons but I lack motivation (Oh, look there’s another reason right there…)

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