Last week I finished my junior year, which included a poetry class. I don’t particularly enjoy poetry workshops (in fact, I already talked about that here) and I was very, very glad to be finished. In honor of the completion of my last poetry class, ever, I give you my 4 least favorite/ least useful poetry critiques received this semester from my peers.*

“I love the idea of this poem…”

Maybe this was just my mild inferiority complex (which isn’t as good as anyone else’s, *ba dum ching!*) but I always inferred an unspoken second half to this critique; something like “…but your execution was absolutely wretched.” or “…too bad you wrote it so terribly.”

“It would be great if you could________I’m not sure how, but I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

Clearly not! If I could’ve “figured it out” in the first place then you wouldn’t have to point it out in this workshop.

“The language is kind of archaic

The tone of voice used to say archaic was  the tone of voice usually associated with “slimy cockroaches” or “spoiled milk.”  I like to believe that one poet’s archaic is another poet’s…vintage.

“It’s a little bit too concerned with rhyme and form.”

I got this critique on a sonnet, which is a form poem, that is supposed to rhyme. Granted, it was a pretty bad sonnet, but I’m still fairly bitter that the biggest negative critique about this poem was that it was essentially too “sonnety.”

Bitter joking aside, while I disliked my poetry workshop I loved my workshop teacher, and I am slightly grateful that the university forced me to broaden my writing horizons (but not as grateful as I am to be finished with all that well-rounded nonsense).

*I probably gave all of these critiques at some point during the semester, sometimes we’re just looking for something to say/write on the poem to get a participation grade.